12 Tips for Becoming a Good Interlocutor


  1. Train Memory After you have attended a lecture or learnt something new, briefly recount or write down the information. It is the best to apply this method from early childhood, but it will also help adults. Do it regularly, and your memory will gradually improve. If you constantly get to know new people, but remember their names poorly, use the method of American politician Henry Clay. He was known for remembering the name and circumstances of the meeting, even if he saw a person only once. The fact is that every evening before bedtime he wrote in a notebook the names of those with whom he met in the day, and in the morning repeated them.
  2. 2. Learn to Express Your Thoughts In conversation, it is important to clearly and correctly state your ideas. It would be easier if you made it a habit to write them down. Teach yourself to use the correct grammatical constructions on writing, and then in oral speech they will also be given without difficulty.
  3. 3. Avoid wasteland Strive for simplicity and conciseness of speech. Do not abuse complex words and high-minded phrases: this is not a sign of mind at all. Remember that vulgarisms, exaggerations, banalities and the use of foreign words is out of place – this is a bad tone.
  4. 4. Listen carefully to the interlocutor Do not speak a lot, let another person speak out. Even if his or her speech is boring and tedious, try to express interest and answer. This attitude can be considered hypocritical, but it is based on a simple rule: treat people with the same respect as you want in response. An open expression of displeasure or indifference will offend the interlocutor and show your ignorance.
  5. 5. Don’t say fake compliments Flatter rich and successful vulgar. This will not say anything good about you, but only expose unworthy motives. However, a simple good word is pleasant to everyone. Therefore, compliment only when they are sincere.
  6. 6. Do not criticize or ridicule Be witty and funny if you can, but never turn your wit against other people. Anyone who taunts others becomes ridiculous, especially if he or she is young and inexperienced. A cultural person will not descend to ridicule. He realizes that he has too many flaws to make fun of others. Especially over those who may have been deprived of his advantages in life. Remember this when you want to criticize someone.
  7. 7. Take into account the interests of the interlocutor People always occupy their own affairs and inclinations more than any other topic. Take advantage of this when the conversation begins to fade. Most likely, a person will gladly support the conversation if you mention his hobbies. And he or she will consider you a pleasant altruistic interlocutor.
  8. 8. Express your opinion when appropriate Some people who strive for honesty, in any case, want to say what they think. At the same time, they are especially proud of their courage in situations when they managed to embarrass or offend listeners. Others consider it almost a duty to a place and not to a place to share their own opinion. This behavior is cruel and disrespectful. Treat someone else’s opinion with the same tolerance as yours. It is not necessary to agree with him or her — just do not try to convince a person by insulting his beliefs.
  9. 9. Do not talk about personal affairs in public It’s simply inappropriate. In addition, your personal concerns and joys are not so important to others. If a person is genuinely interested in you, he himself will ask, and outsiders do not need to know about them. This applies to the personal affairs of your relatives and acquaintances. And even more so, do not start questioning yourself: this is a sign of bad education.
  10. 10. Do not show off your knowledge Even if you really understand a question better than others, do not boast about it and do not try to shame the interlocutors. They will respect you more if, in addition to knowledge, they see modesty in you.
  11. 11. Do not respond to rudeness with rudeness If the interlocutor publicly raises your voice or insults you, do not go down to the same level. Act like you don’t notice it. And he or she will probably stop the attacks when he sees that they don’t touch you.
  12. 12. Do not correct errors in the speech of the interlocutor It doesn’t matter that he or she made a mistake in pronunciation or grammar. Pretend you didn’t notice it. And do not repeat his or her phrase correctly, it is just as unspeakable.

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