How To Tankjack a Russian T-72 For Joyriding?

(humorous article)

March 25, 2022. Kyiv. As it is informed by Forbes, the present day Ukrainian Army has 43 more tanks than at the beginning of the Russian-Ukrainian war broke out February 24. According to the statistical data of this edition, Ukraine has lost 74 tanks and, at the same time, has seized 117 Russian tanks since that time.

So, a logical question arises, “How to support this tradition of carjacking, oh do forgive me, tankjacking the most popular T-72 left on battlefields or town streets of Ukraine?”

The approximate scheme looks the following way.

Firstly, while seeing a T-72 pulling up nearby, you should not worry a lot, just wait for a minute or two until a tank man goes out for a smoke break or a local loo, a cheery talk or a shopping break-in.

Secondly, looking relaxed, you could climb down in a tank hatch not forgetting to smile friendly to other Russian soldiers, occasionally passing by your place of curiosity.

Thirdly, you otta press the biggest ‘MASS’ button and switch on all lines of black tumblers.

Fourthly, you start unblocking the clutch pedal by pushing the gas pedal and seeking two black buttons of the ‘oil pump’ placed to the left of the tank driver`s seat to press them.

Finally, you just shift to the second gear and move the tank cautiously remembering your happy joy riding experience in your tickled teen age…

Just being on a safe distance, you can breathe out hilariously, “Ouch! I did it! Glory to Ukraine!”

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