Ten Things to Help you Survive the World End (including COVID-19)

The end of the world is not an easy thing to do, especially since we meet it several times a year. This time it is called the ‘CORONA EBOLA VIRUS’. I mean the coronavirus, surely. People without a sense of humor are better off not reading!

Bike

Cars, subways, trains, and other heresies will disappear without a trace in the vent of “the end of the world” events, so you will need to move around somehow. The bicycle is a very cool thing since you will go a lot more ways than if you were just walking, pumping your feet to escape quickly from coughing and sneezing zombies, and of course, without the hipster bows for an Instagram on the backdrop of ruined cities.

Gas mask

There will be a little end-of-the-world scenario, but it is unknown where you will be after. So put on a gas mask or a medical mask- of course, it won’t save you from a nuclear mushroom, but you will at least not choke if some chemical gases sprayed somewhere nearby will chase you. The same relates to COVID-19. Well, at least you will have at least one suit for the next Halloween.

Lighters

Be sure to bring some lighters with you. Matches will not be enough for a long time, and even more so they can get rid of banal rain. And a lighter will serve you much longer when used economically and successfully – it will ignite a campfire in your forest camp, burn wounds, forge a doctor, and also light a torch that will drive wild dogs and humans.

Sturdy knife

A sturdy knife is not the small-toothed knife you used to cut your morning croissants in the kitchen, but a real, sharp-edged stainless steel blade with a dagger. It is you who will have to brutally cut down some wriggling fish or a furry bunny for dinner, which you will catch in the woods, as well as make bows and arrows for yourself to hunt for something that cannot be taken at all.

Absorbing tablets

As you know, people are 80% composed of water, so the next day without water you will become a vegetable, and the third – you will die of thirst. When the world is over, be sure to take special absorbent pills that will allow you to drink at least from a muddy pool. It is these cleaning pills that the military put in their kits for all occasions.

Alcohol

Of course, you will not have all the pills from different diseases. The place in your “ultimate” backpack is not infinite, but it would be very nice to take some alcohol with you. Absinthe (70% ABV) is a good choice. They say it is good against the coronavirus. Not a half-liter bottle of vodka stored for New Year’s, namely pure alcohol with flowers of Artemisia absinthium – more versatile and easier disinfection has not been invented yet. It will allow you to wipe small wounds, make a flare for the torch, and if you are lucky and come across a source of clean water – then dilute it in a ratio of 1: 2 and swell up.

Tent and sleeping bag

Given that the end of the world was prophesied to us in a timely, you will have to spend the night and warm up when you start sleeping rough. So be sure to bring a tent for a few places, for yourself and your like-minded Harry Potter Club, as well as a versatile and warm sleeping bag. In summer you will not care, but in the cold season, a warm sleeping bag will not hurt.

Games

The post-apocalyptic world is not too fun and upbeat, so you have to bring some games with you. If you do not want to turn into the character of Tom Hanks, who in the movie a la Robinson Crusoe by the end of the plot got so crazy that he talked to a ball, then you need to have some games —  monopoly, chess or, more simply —  cards. With cards, you can predict other survivors of their fate, sell psychoanalysis sessions, win something like a bear coat, as well as just have a leisure time with your occasional buddies.

Condoms

No matter how wild and unpredictable the world is after the apocalypse, you will still want to sleep with someone more or less attractive and appropriate to your parameters. Just imagine how romantic it is: you just had dinner with a dead roe deer, and you are lying outdoors by the tent, staring at the sparkling stars. A la belle étoile, as they say in French. And suddenly appears He! Your Hulk-man! It will be much more difficult with children: being pregnant, it will be difficult to hip over the fallen trees, when you run away from the zombie crowd, chasing for your alcohol, and during delivery, you are unlikely to find a doctor. So stock up on condoms — they take up little space — and have a happy love adventure in a gloomy world!

Diary

In a world where computers, calendars, and magazines disappear, it will be difficult to navigate in time and space – let alone the need to quickly study your orientation skills in the area. So bring a diary — durable, with a leather cover, moisture protection and a handle. There you will record everything that happened to you after the end of the world, as well as keep a “logbook” of the movement. At least, if the world then regains its former greatness, you will be able to post all these blog entries and break thousands of likes and hearts.

P.S. If you think that the Zombie Apocalypse has already hit, don`t take a sledgehammer to Whack-a-Mole game on the nearest cemetery. Just switch off the TV set, relax, and listen to “What a wonderful world” by Louis Armstrong. Everything will pass. Solomon was right.

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