(humorous story)

I’m living in a dormitory. I’m a proud, independent… and always hungry. Because of my studies, I don’t always have enough time to cook. So, when Sunday came, I decided to cook a large pot of soup, enough for four days.

“But I have never cooked it! That’s the trouble, I’m going to burn the kitchen,” I thought, returning from the store. “No, no excuses. To the stove!” I picked up the phone and surfed for the first pea soup recipe. “Well, it’s not as difficult as it seems at first.”

I put a pan with peas on the stove and started a special operation “For a healthy lifestyle!” I was running from the kitchen to the room and from the kitchen to the room, washing the vegetables, peeling, chopping and frying them. I was flying like a fighter to catch up on time. I threw salt, soda, chicken and potatoes. Everything was on time and, surprisingly, nothing and no one was burned yet.

“Yes, the chicken is cooked, and the potatoes are already soft. Awesome!” I threw the roast in the pan and begun looking forward to five minutes… “Almost prepared! There are only a few minutes left before cooking the dream soup! Yes, I won’t starve anymore, I’ll enjoy life! And the sun will shine brighter, and grades will be better, and lecturers will be kinder.”

“Oh, my mother is calling me. Now I’ll tell her how masterful and good I’m. Well, no doubt, she will be proud of me!”

“Hey, son, come to see me. How are you getting along? I have just made your palatable pea soup. Blah-blah-blah…and blah-blah-blah! Are you healthy? Is everything OK? See ya!”

“Oh my gosh!” I looked at the pot of ready-made soup. “Were all my efforts in vain? I was so worried that I turned gray. “Here is such an ambush! No! No! No! I’d rather burn the kitchen!”