Each of us at least once in our life has heard something like this: “Yes, what a depression – I’m used to feeling sorry for myself, that’s all.” In fact, this is not the case. First of all, this has nothing to do with reality. Moreover, such a phrase can become too painful for a person if he is currently in a depressed state.

Such conclusions and statements are a bad idea. And it doesn’t matter who they are made about, to whose address they are directed, in what state this person is. As a rule, this is the result of a lack of understanding of the real state of affairs or the lack of elementary education.

What can you do?

Anyone who suffers from depression needs a sense of connection with the people close to them – to know that they will not harm. But even more they need help to overcome depression, start living as before, put in order the emotional side. At the same time, they do not understand why they cannot get out of this state. The task of relatives and friends is to return a person to himself, to get rid of the disorder.

You are not required to learn the techniques and methods of providing professional assistance to such people. For this there are qualified specialists who have undergone training and practice. In this case, only one thing is required – not to injure the person’s feelings once again and not to offend him, albeit unwittingly.

Be careful what you say

There are fifteen basic things you should never say to someone with a depressive disorder:

• you are not sick, but simply feel sorry for yourself;
• this is just one of the stages of your life that you need to go through;
• all this is nonsense – over time the depression will go away by itself;
• come on, your depression is contagious;
• with such a mood you will never be happy;
• are you crazy?
• what are you whining, there are a lot of people who are even worse;
• yes you are a loser;
• what does depression have to do with it, if your head is not all right;
• just forget about it;
• everyone is tired of your constant whining, therefore you have no friends;
• you are a weakling who is afraid of difficulties;
• depression is the lot of women, and you are a man and behave accordingly (and if a man, then not a man? ..);
• yes you are a bummer and worthless, tear your butt off the couch and start acting;
• you are smart, you can think of something.

And even if you agree a thousand times with each of these statements, never voice them. You are not a doctor who can assess a person’s condition and determine whether they actually have depression. And therefore, just do not express yourself in an offensive manner.

How you can encourage and support the person in this situation:

• I am always there, if you want to talk, I am ready to listen to you.
• Unfortunately, I cannot change your past or the circumstances that have developed in your case, but I will always be happy to talk about it with you.
• How can I help you, how can I support you?
• I don’t care what happened in your life. I just know that you are a wonderful person, and I am very glad that I have you.
• I really want to help you become the same, cheerful and can help in finding a highly qualified specialist who knows how to do this in the case of your situation.
• You are a very strong person. Not everyone can survive what has fallen to your lot and not break. But everything is already in the past and it’s time for you to move on, to be happy, because you, like no one else, deserve it.
• Only you can change your life, make it better. As soon as you feel that you are ready, let me know and I will support you and help you.

The fact is that when a depressed person hears a negative speech about himself, he not only does not feel better, but, on the contrary, his condition can be greatly aggravated. In such a period of life, a person becomes very sensitive. The slightest careless phrase expressed in relation to him is extremely acutely perceived. What the reaction will be is unknown. As practice shows, it is not the most favorable. So take care of yourself and your friends too…