(essay)

We all start to sink sometime.
Our lungs are filled with illusions, and our thoughts are filled with doubts. We gasp for self-pity. It paralyzes every cell, injecting the poison of inaction into the bloodstream. The body, unable to fight this poison, continues to fall to the bottom.

The story starts at the moment when you intend to cross from one side of the river to the other. You are not afraid of the unknown – you are afraid to stand in one place. You need to move for surviving. And now you take the first step.

“Thank you for coming to the interview. We will definitely call you back. ”

It’s said that taking the second step is much more intimidating than the first. Especially, when on the first you slipped and nearly fell. But you resisted. Balance takes you by the hands and you carefully try to move forward. After all, one has only to cross this icy bridge – and on the other side of the river, new opportunities await you.

“Unfortunately, there is no way for you to rewrite the exam. This is not included in our program. Even, if you lost the Internet during the tests. ”

Crack. A crack ran through the ice that split my confidence in half. I’m in a daze. I tolerate. I stand exactly until the minute when the sharply sharpened teeth of the cold begin to bite my fingers brazenly. If I don’t want to freeze, I have to move on. I have to run.

“Listen, I understand that it’s not the best period in your life right now. But I can’t do this anymore. We need to break up. ”

I can hear the growl of the ice behind me. It opens its frigid mouth fast to swallow me alive in one fell swoop. I can already feel its frosty breath behind me.

“Of course the luck left you. How can you be in a relationship for six months and never hook up? As a friend, I declare to you that you are a complete idiot. Is not it so? Otherwise, you would found a job a long time ago. ”

The air no longer holds me. My body no longer obeys me. You don’t have to run anymore. There is no need to think about what lies ahead of me. There is no “ahead.” There is only “down.” Smooth and heavy fall…

We all start to sink sometime.

Our lungs are filled with illusions, and our thoughts are filled with doubts. We gasp for self-pity. It paralyzes every cell, injecting the poison of inaction into the bloodstream. The body, unable to fight this poison, continues to fall to the bottom.

“Come to the hospital urgently. Mom feels bad. ”

And at the moment when you are ready to say ‘goodbye’ to reality, there is something that will make you break free from the ice tentacles of the water. Something that will make you breathe…