(a humorous article)

Alright, young padawans of the job market, listen up! You’ve scrolled through enough TikToks, survived enough Zoom lectures, and now it’s time to level up: your first real-deal job interview at an actual Ukrainian company. The vibes are different. This isn’t a social media challenge; it’s grown-up stuff, but with its own quirks. To avoid a face-palm from the HR manager and not become a meme, grab this super cheat sheet. Because whoever is warned is armed, and whoever is armed is no longer a noob.

1. Dress code: not your basement party outfit (unless it’s an IT startup with a smoothie bar)

Seriously, ditch the comfy hoodies and ripped sneakers. “Casual” in Ukraine doesn’t mean “pajamas are fine.” Even if the company is “young and progressive,” it’s better to overdo it than underdo it. Iron a shirt, find some trousers that aren’t sweatpants, and for the love of all that is holy, no Crocs (unless you’re interviewing to be a Crocs model, in which case, slay!). First impressions hit different, and yours shouldn’t scream, “I just rolled out of bed and rushed here from the marshrutka.”

2. “Tell me about yourself”: not a novel, but a blockbuster trailer

This question is a minefield. Don’t recount your entire childhood history, how you took dance lessons, or how you survived bullying in 5th grade. HR isn’t interested in your life dramas. They want a quick, punchy spiel about your skills, what you’ve learned from university (or self-education, that’s trendy now), and why this company is your absolute dream. Be like a pro editor – cut all the fluff, leave only the juicy bits. And no “uhms” or “likes.” Practice, fam, practice!

3. “What are your weaknesses?” – the humblebrag game

This question is a total vibe check, and 90% of students totally fumble it. Don’t say, “I’m too perfect” (cringe!). Don’t say, “I sometimes oversleep” (okay, relatable, but not for an interview). Pick a genuinely minor, but true, weakness, then instantly “flip it” to your advantage by showing how you’re actively working on it. For example: “Sometimes I get too caught up in details, but now I’m learning to delegate and see the bigger picture by using project management trackers.” See? Growth!

4. “Do you have any questions?” Don’t be a wallflower!

This is your golden ticket! If you just say, “Nah, I’m good,” it screams, “I don’t care, just give me the cash.” Prepare at least 2-3 thoughtful questions. Ask about team dynamics, corporate culture, growth opportunities, or how they handle a specific challenge. Show them you’re actually invested, not just there to “sit through” the interview. And yes, you can ask about salary, but not first thing, and only if they haven’t brought it up already.

5. Stalking (the good kind): scout the terrain!

Before you even set foot in the digital or physical room, do your homework. Check out their website, their LinkedIn, their Facebook page, maybe even any articles written about them. If you can find out who your potential manager is – even better. Drop subtle hints that you’ve done your research. “I saw your latest project X, and I was genuinely impressed by your approach to Y.” Boom! Instant bonus points. It shows you’re not just swiping right on every job listing.

6. Follow-up flex: not too thirsty, not too chill

Within 24 hours after the interview, send a brief, polite thank-you email. Reiterate your interest and briefly mention something specific you discussed. Don’t send a novel. Don’t spam them hourly. It’s like leaving a good final impression without being extra.

So, there you have it, future “concrete” business people! Now you know how not to screw up. Go forth, to your first job! You got this! No cap.