(humorous job interview)

A modern business center in the center of Kyiv. A waiting room. A guy from the Hutsul region, about 20 years old, while waiting for an interview, collapsed on an elegant black leather sofa near the receptionist’s desk.

The Hutsul was quite short, and the leather sofa turned out to be deep and so slippery that when he sat down, his feet did not even reach the floor. And all attempts to straighten up ended with the guy sliding into the depths of the sofa with a strange creak. However, in reality, this leggin (brave man) was still stubborn! When the receptionist saw this spectacle and burst out laughing, and the guy felt her gaze on his back, he began to fidget even more actively on the sofa, nervously humming some Hutsul folk song just to inspire himself:

Advise us, good people, what I should do,
I have three gray horses, I want to get married.
But I will give one to the horn, the second to vodka,
And the third, I will give to the landlord who will give me a girl for it.

I would like to get married, I would like to have a wife;
Winter will come, there is no hay, nothing to feed.

Olha: Good afternoon! You must be Orest. Please, have a seat.

Orest: Dobryi den, pani! Oy, my legs are shaking like a young goat on ice! I traveled all night on the train, squeezed like varenyky in a pot!

Olha: Well, I hope you’re feeling ready for the interview. Can you tell me about your experience?

Orest: Oh, I have worked like a mountain horse, pani! I did accounting for my uncle’s business, helped my neighbor sell cheese, and once even bartered a sack of potatoes for a bicycle—pure Hutsul economics!

Olha: That’s… quite diverse. Do you have experience with Excel?

Orest: Oy, pani, I know Excel like I know the mountain trails! My fingers run through those cells faster than my uncle Petro running from a bear!

Olha: And what about communication skills?

Orest: Eh, pani, in my village, if you can bargain with an old woman selling mushrooms at the market, you can negotiate anything! I can talk anyone into anything—just like my baba convinced me that eating garlic will keep me strong enough to wrestle wolves!

Olha: (laughs) Impressive! How do you handle stress?

Orest: Stress? Oh, pani, back home, we have real stress—like when a sheep gets stuck on the roof, or when your cow runs away before milking! Kyiv stress is like light rain—it’s nothing compared to mountain troubles!

Olha: I admire your confidence! Okay, final question—why do you want this job?

Orest: Well, pani, Kyiv has big buildings, fast people, fancy coffee, but I want to bring some Hutsul spirit here. Plus, I need money for a new wool coat. Winter is coming, and my old one has more holes than a cheese made by an inexperienced shepherd!

Olha: (smiling) I think you’ll fit in just fine, Orest!

THE END