(humorous flash story)

It was a typical Tuesday morning at QuantumTech Solutions, until Roger Daniels walked into Conference Room B and confidently derailed HR’s schedule. Roger thought he was interviewing for a job as a fitness trainer. He was, in fact, applying for a junior data analyst role. The misunderstanding began, as many do, on the internet.

HR MANAGER (SUSAN):

“So, Roger, tell us a bit about your background and what brought you to apply for this position.”

ROGER:

“Well, Susan, ever since I helped my grandma train for her hip replacement surgery, I knew—I was born to make people sweat.”

SUSAN (eyebrows rising like spreadsheets):

“…Sweat?”

ROGER:

“Oh yeah. Quads, glutes, core strength — I’m all about the transformation journey. Your company’s tagline really spoke to me: ‘We power performance.’ I was like, ‘Yes, QuantumTech, I do!’”

SUSAN (blinking):

“Roger… are you aware that this role involves compiling data reports and working with Python?”

ROGER (smiling confidently):

“Absolutely. I love snakes. Very powerful animals.”

Susan says she considered ending the interview right there, but something about Roger’s unwavering belief in himself intrigued her. So, she leaned in.

SUSAN:

“Let’s talk numbers. Say we give you a dataset with inconsistencies across three variables. What’s your first move?”

ROGER:

“Warm-up. Dynamic stretches. Then I motivate those variables to align. No excuses. Everyone shows up or nobody crunches.”

SUSAN (making a note she later titled ‘pure chaos’):

“What do you know about SQL?”

ROGER:

“I believe in sequels. Rocky II changed my life.”

Despite everything, Roger left the interview with a protein bar in one hand and a fist bump from the confused intern in the hallway. Susan admits, “He had no clue what we do. But somehow, he nailed the vibe.”

As for Roger? He later realized his mistake.

“Honestly,” he said in a follow-up email, “I applied for 37 jobs that day. Thought this was a gym called QuantumTechnique.” He now teaches bootcamp classes under the name “Data Crunch: Analytics for Your Abs.” Moral of the story: Confidence is key. But maybe read the job description next time. 😅