Why do many people strive to be different from the gray mass? Why does a person need this? What are the true motives for wanting to stand out from the crowd? Let’s try to understand these and many other questions.

Now we can often meet people with atypical appearance on the streets of the city. For example, people decorate their bodies with tattoos, dye their hair in bright colors, wear clothes that attract attention, etc. But they do not always stand out only in appearance. Often a person tries to distinguish himself by his or her way of life or thinking. Why is this necessary? There can be many reasons. Most often it is a desire to attract attention to oneself. Each person has several personality components: an adult, a parent, and a child. If a guy or a girl wants to be overly different from others, then the inner child is not in harmony. Children at an early age attract the attention of their parents in every possible way, if it is not enough for them. Sometimes there are screams, quarrels and even tantrums. This is all a way to attract the attention of a significant adult. A conscious and wise parent will be patient with such behavior of the child and will not punish. But this is not always the case. Often, parents, having their own psychological trauma, unconsciously transfer them to their babies. If the child did not receive love in childhood, then in adulthood he or she will try to fill the gap.

Standing out is good or bad

There are many ways to stand out in the crowd. If these are socially acceptable methods, then there is nothing wrong with that. Young people often show their individuality in this way. For example, a girl dyes her hair in bright colors every month: pink, yellow, green, blue. This is her own business, and she does not do it badly to anyone. And if the same girl, trying to attract attention to herself, begins to use alcohol or other substances and, with a clouded mind, begins to provoke others and start fights, then society will not be as tolerant of this way of standing out. We can and should show our individuality so as not to harm ourselves or others.

Psychologists believe that an excessive desire to change our appearance is low self-esteem and self-rejection. A person who loves himself or herself unconditionally will not cover his or her entire body with tattoos or do countless plastic surgeries. Many will say that there is nothing wrong with that. An adult can do whatever he wants with his or her body, this is his or her right. It really is. But the point is that no matter what changes occur, there will still be something that needs to be changed in ourselves. Even if a person does not harm others by somehow trying to stand out, then for himself or herself this does not always bring happiness or satisfaction. Girls who abuse plastic surgery don`t seem to be very confident personalities. It really helps them to raise their self-esteem that they improve their body in every possible way. But the effect usually doesn’t last very long. After some time, they again feel the need to somehow change themselves, because the internal psychological problem has not been resolved. It’s like taking painkillers in case of a serious illness, rather than treating the disease comprehensively. It lets go for a while, but everything returns to normal. No external changes can finally help us to love and accept ourselves.

Why do people judge those who stand out?

Because not everyone is familiar with human psychology. It seems to many that if a girl has gone too far with silicone on her body, then she is just silly and narcissistic. Some twist their fingers to their temples if they see a guy covered from head to toe with tattoos. People in bright clothes and with unusual hair color are called freaks. All this happens due to the fact that most people think stereotypically. Even 30 years ago, it was generally not accepted to stand out. Society lived like everyone else, it was correct in the understanding of the majority, because this is the model of life imposed by the political system. Now people of the older generation, who have been taught that it is impossible to stand out, find it difficult to understand young people who are trying in every way to distinguish themselves. In the modern world, it is fashionable to be different, to show our individuality, to go beyond the usual framework of behavior. From the point of view of psychology, this is good, because we can do what we really like and not do what we should. So there is much more chance of happiness, self-realization and harmony in the soul.

Society puts pressure on people who are different, making it even worse for the individual. A person who seeks to over-stand out is in constant protest. The person says he is challenging society, but in fact he is challenging himself. He or she does not accept himself or herself, is in constant search and is deeply unhappy inside.

Arguing with other people, we try to find some kind of solution for ourselves. If we do not deal with our personal problems, then we can get stuck in this eternal search, not finding happiness.