(essay)

An ordinary Thursday evening. I did my design homework. On Friday, I had to hand in an already finished newspaper, so I sat at the laptop until 3 a.m. When I went to bed, my soul was restless, but I justified it with anxiety before handing in my work.

I still fell asleep…

4:30 a.m. Telephone call. Unknown number. For the first few minutes, I didn`t understand anything.

Our conversation:

“Dasha, keep calm. Wake up, go wake up your parents. The war began. We are being bombed.”

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

“If you don’t believe me, read the news. The news channels have already started to write about it.”

“Stop. Who`s this?”

It turned out that it was my friend Denis. I still don’t understand why his number showed up as “Unknown.”

I decided not to panic…I couldn’t believe that it could be true. Therefore, I decided to make sure of the truth of this information by myself before waking up my parents. Silence…I scroll through the news feed. An explosion… I hope it seemed to me. Another explosion. Maybe I’m screwing myself up? Two whistles… Is this really?

While I was opening the door to my room, someone called my dad. Speaking confusedly, he went to the balcony, and I sat down next to my mom. She also heard these explosions. Surprisingly, without panicking, we began to collect the most necessary things in “anxious suitcases.” Dad was urgently summoned to work to discuss the details of future actions. We stayed at home to wait.

We spent the whole day at home while dad was on business. A lot of things were happening, but the most terrible thing was waiting for us ahead… About 9 p.m. an acquaintance called my mother and told us to be in the bomb shelter within 10 minutes. Unfortunately, the closest shelters from us were the school and the subway, and they were about 7 minutes from us. Dad was still not at home, and we were very worried. After taking everything we need and getting dressed, we called him, but he didn`t pick up the phone. We stayed in the shelter until 12 midnight, then dad finally came to us. There the conditions were terrible, so the parents decided to spend the night in the apartment.

About 3-4 a.m. None of us slept. It was especially scary at night. In my room, the window was closed with curtains. A bright orange flash blinded me even through the curtains. And then an eerie explosion. All of us ran to the bathroom. As it turned out later, the anti-aircraft defense shot downthe missile and the debris fell on a house 800 meters from us. The house was half burnt… There were wounded and dead… The parents decide to leave Kyiv after all, but we had to wait for the end of the curfew.

At about 6 a.m. we heard a very powerful rumble. It really scared us. We were just packing more things then, because we didn’t know when we would be able to return home. Then for the first time we saw a huge fighter jet flying right over our house.

The curfew ended at 7 a.m. We took our suitcases and went down to the car. It was at this time that we heard the siren for the first time. One of the scariest sounds for me at that time. It was scary, but it was too late to retreat. We started to leave the city as soon as possible.

Empty roads, empty streets, screaming silence. Usually at this time the city was full of life. Someone rushed to work, someone to university, school, kindergarten…But then as if the apocalypse arrived on its horses of War and Death, Famine and Antichrist… .

I still couldn’t believe that all this was happening to us. I wanted to cry, scream, but I didn’t allow myself. I couldn`t show weakness at such a crucial moment. And so all that day there was great tension and the parents were worried. For me to become hysterical would upset my parents even more.

I remember all my feelings and thoughts at the moment when we left the house. “Why do we have to leave OUR home? Why do we have to run like frightened animals from hunters? After all, we live in the 21st century and this kind of delusion is happening. What is wrong with this world?! What is wrong with russia?!” Sadness, anger, disappointment, fear, disgust…

Only when I was in my grandmother`s village, safe and alone, I was able to give in to my emotions… In addition, at that time, my lover informed me about his desire to join the Teroboron, and that also scared me.

I really wouldn’t wish anyone to feel and experience all that I felt at that moment…