(listicle)

So, you’ve got some earth-shattering news to share with the world, and you need to write a press release. But where do you start? Fear not, dear reader! Here’s a step-by-step guide to crafting the perfect press release, with a dash of humor to keep things interesting.

1. The Headline: Grab ‘Em by the Eyeballs

Your headline is the first thing people will see, so make it count. Think of it as the clickbait of the press release world. It should be catchy, concise, and make people want to read more. For example, “Local Cat Becomes Mayor: Feline Politics Takes Over Town” is much more intriguing than “Cat Elected as Mayor.”

2. The Subhead: A Teaser for the Teaser

If your headline is the hook, the subhead is the line and sinker. It should provide a bit more detail without giving away the whole story. Something like, “Whiskers the Cat Wins Landslide Victory, Promises More Naps and Tuna for All” will do the trick.

3. The Lead: The Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How

Now that you’ve got their attention, it’s time to hit them with the facts. The lead paragraph should answer all the essential questions: who, what, when, where, why, and how. Keep it short and sweet, like a good tweet. For example, “In a stunning turn of events, Whiskers the Cat was elected mayor of Smalltown on Tuesday, promising to bring a new era of feline leadership to the community.”

4. The Body: Flesh Out the Details

Here’s where you can get into the nitty-gritty. Provide more context, quotes from key players, and any other relevant information. Just remember to keep it engaging and avoid jargon. Nobody wants to read a press release that sounds like it was written by a robot. For example, “Whiskers, a 5-year-old tabby, won the election by a landslide, receiving 75% of the vote. ‘I promise to bring more naps and tuna to all residents,’ said Whiskers in his victory speech. ‘It’s time for a change, and I’m the cat for the job.’”

5. The Boilerplate: Who Are You, Anyway?

The boilerplate is a brief paragraph at the end of the press release that provides background information about your organization. Think of it as your company’s elevator pitch. For example, “Smalltown Animal Shelter is a non-profit organization dedicated to finding loving homes for cats and dogs. Founded in 2005, we have helped over 1,000 animals find their forever homes.”

6. Contact Information: Make It Easy to Reach You

Last but not least, include your contact information. Make it easy for journalists to get in touch with you if they have any questions or need more information. Include your name, phone number, and email address. For example, “For more information, please contact Jane Doe at (555) 123-4567 or jane.doe@example.com.”

7. Proofread: Because Typos Are Embarrassing

Before you hit send, make sure to proofread your press release. Typos and grammatical errors can make you look unprofessional. Read it out loud, have a friend look it over, and use spell check. Trust me, it’s worth the extra effort.

And there you have it! Follow these tips, and you’ll be writing press releases that get noticed in no time. Just remember to keep it light, keep it fun, and always, always include a cat.