Paris-Tele-Tour-Portation

(Fantasy story)

“I don’t know, maybe, I sound old-fashioned or retro-style thinking, but visiting Paris with all its art tourist attractions is one of my deepest dreams,” Peter, a twenty-one-year-old student with a nerdy appearance of an A-student simpleton took off his glasses and looked at Ann, his University group mate, a diva-licious glamour girl with noble manners, who socialized with him just only because he was her summer cottage neighbor. 

“So, what`s the matter? The only thing you are to do is to plan your trip, to choose a tourist company, to pay the cash, to say ‘Bonjour Paris!’ and to enjoy Montmartre with its funiculaire and petite train!”

“For you, it is so simple, for me, it is so hard! You forget that I am just a student. At first, I must earn some cash; secondly, I should persuade my parents; thirdly, I ought to convince you to go with me. Just only after that, I can plan my life dream Paris trip!” Peter glanced at the cheetah-licious girl with the eyes full of love.

“Do forgive me, my four-eyed friend! The trip with you, even to Paris, is not in my nearest plans. For four years I have been trying to hammer into your high IQ and low EQ head one simple idea, that we are just only good neighbors, good group mates, good friends, and you are still cherishing some fairytale fantasies.”

Ann waved her head as in a time-lapse shot, showing her sparkling blond hair in all its natural beauty, lunged for her ankles and got back on her feet. “I will toss you up one idea… Taking into account that you belong to my trekkie and techie friends, don`t put off till tomorrow what you can do today. That is the favorite saying of my Dad… So, instead of earning money at night in various dubious places, use a crowdsourcing technique and in a week or two, the Musée d`Orcee, the Musée Rodin and the Musée National Picasso will open their doors to you…”

*************

Two weeks later, after a long flight on the wings of his cherished dreams realized by Air France, Peter cleared his throat, propped his glasses, and set off searching the Louvre Palace. Every cell of his slab-sided body just screamed with joy, “He was in Paris! He was on the right bank of Seine! He was in the Tuilieries Garden! He did it! The etchings of Salvadore Dali, the impressions of Claude Monet, and the figurative pictures of Claude-Max Louche are inviting him to share their abstract and surrealistic, impressionist and representational beauty! Wow! Wow! And once again Yahoo!”

However, the jubilant mood of Peter went gradually up in smoke, his sidelong sight just stumbled on some sudden serpentine scene stretching up not far from him. A huge group of people in yellow clothes just started yelling something menacing, “Filthy pockets kneel down! Stinky cats scram down!” Peter got a burning desire to run away and, without any hesitation, he rushed along the picturesque alleys of the Tuiliers Garden. Trying to tangle his trails, he turned right left, trying to dodge among arty looking trees. The threatening shrieks caught up with him, “Yellow vests will triumph! Les gilets jaunes triompheront!”   Peter sped up with only one overall thought flashing in his inflamed brains, “How much do I want to get back to my summer cottage! How much do I want to see my Ann! Cottage! Ann! Ann! Cottage! How much…”All of a sudden, he slipped, lost his footing, and banged the nearest tree with all his young energy…

Nobody knows exactly how long his blackout was. Nevertheless, while opening his eyes, he saw the beautiful face of Ann, with her big sad eyes, as well as the brick wall of his summer cottage.

“What are you doing here? Peter! I thought you went to your lovely Paris and instead of it, you are just lying here without any shoes, without any socks, with a bruised face and a smell of French cognac!”

The young man looked around and scratched his head, “I don’t know how it happened and how it works. However, let`s stage an experiment.” He stood up decisively and glanced at Ann, “Let`s keep our hands together and run to that big tree with a shrieking scream, “Louvre! Louvre! Louvre! Let`s get the ball rolling!”

Ann smiled cheerfully and followed fast running Peter, “I know that you are a bit bizarre but I didn`t expect that you were so crazy!”

Peter went rushing and shouting, “Louvre! Louvre! Louvre!”

Ann burst into laughter, “Louvre! Louvre! Louvre!”  

When they approached the old oak, Peter fell down, not forgetting to help his long-legged companion to do the same…This time they got a blackout together…

*************

Just in while a group of people in yellow vests bent down and slapped the cheeks of two young people lying without any signs of life under the oldest tree of the  Tuiliers Garden. “Hey, you! Chickens! Are you alive, êtes vous vivant? ”

Ann shook her legs the first, Peter sneezed and raised on his legs the second… “Do forgive us. We are just tourists who got lost in your Catherine de` Medici Jarden trying to get to your Louvre chef-d`oeuvres and masterpieces.”

“Bien, and why do you look like our homeless clochards? With black and blue faces, without any shoes, just barefooted?” The people in yellow vests got wary.

Peter looked at the torn skirt of Ann and smiled, “You see we are hippies, I mean neo-hippies …you know our slogans are “Flower-power! Make Love not War! Herb is the healing of all nations!”

The crowd chief smirked with disbelief, “Hippies plunged into oblivion twenty or thirty years ago. My Dad was a hippie, and you are just fooling us around!”

“As for my Dad, he was an old hippie too. He kept on saying, “Do not hate. Meditate.” So, will you help the new generation of hippies who launched a new Flow-Pow-Love-Wow campaign to enjoy the tourist attractions of your City of Love and Lights?”

“Ha! You are a funny guy!” The crowd leader looked around at his smiling entourage. “We will hit our Pantruche city for you and your gloomy girlfriend. Though, she is in a holey vest and a torn dress now, in two weeks she will turn into the happiest tourist our Paris has ever seen!”

The shouting and singing crowd took Peter and Ann under their hands and dragged them to the nearest cafeteria. 

In spite of all chaos and noise, Ann tried to whisper into the ears of Peter all abusive words she had memorized since her childhood. Peter did not lose a moment and kissed her cheerily and open-heartedly with all his passion and love.

“You are just an amorous dumbass… I am in Paris without my passport, without my credit cards, without my clothes… ”

“You are with a hundred of new Paris friends and me!” Peter kept on kissing her anxious face, not forgetting to chant slogans with his new buddies, “Yellow vests will triumph! Les gilets jaunes triompheront! Make Love not War!” 

“By the way, how do you plan to transport me without any documents to my home back?” On the one hand, Ann was ready to burst into tears; on the other hand, she looked interested.

“Don’t worry! My booty-licious dream with lovely eyes. Did not you notice that I cracked one secret? The hush-hush secret of Paris-tele-tour-portation! The key idea, we should keep together and not forget the tree under which they found us. Our way home will be same as our way to Paris!”

“And what will we do in Paris for two weeks?” she looked suspiciously at Peter.

“The honey month is waiting for us! The happiest period in our lives!” Peter smiled and kissed Ann once again, “You just don`t have any choice!”

Ann smiled in response, “Somewhere at the bottom of my heart, I felt that our relations will wrap up with a romantic trip and your hot hugs…But I have never thought that at this solemn moment I will be dressed like a hobo-bobo without a dollar in my pocket…”

Peter found a metallic screw-nut and gave it to Ann, “Will you, Ann, take this engagement ring and be my wife?”

All looked thoughtfully at a rusty screw-nut and put it on her ring finger, “I just don’t have any choice! Though, I know the reaction of my parents…I will say, ‘OK’! Let`s try to pass our life way from rags to riches with love and fondness together.”

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