German Bees and Ukrainian Refugees

(humorous article)

Ordnung ist das halbe Leben.”(Order is half of life)
– a German proverb.

Since the beginning of the Russian-Ukrainian war, which broke out on February 24, 2022, according to Interfax-Ukraine based on the UNCHR data, Germany has accepted 1.067.900 Ukrainian refugees bypassing Poland with its 992.700 registered Ukrainian evacuees. In such a way, Germany turned into a world leader in the number of Ukrainian people who fled the horrors of the large-scale war.

Bearing in mind all the seriousness of their mass move to Germany, not forgetting to thank the generosity and hospitality of the German government, not without a smile, through social networks, Ukrainians started sharing information about the funny German fines, which could become not so funny for those who got trapped within some strict German laws.

Radio and Television. In their majority, Ukrainians don`t listen to the German radio and don`t watch the television at all, preferring personal computers and mobile phone content…However, German state officials don`t care. You are to pay 15-20 euros a month and full stop. After being caught for not doing it, you will be fined 500 euros.

Wasps and bees. If you suddenly kill a wasp or a bee, stinging your neck, hand or ear, your fine can surge to almost one thousand euros. A hunted elk costs less…A Shakespearian question arises gradually in your head, “To elk, to beer and not to bee or to bee, to wasp and not to beer!” But if you unexpectedly notice a nest of wasps somewhere in or on your house and try to get rid of it, it could ruin not only your family budget but the whole family. Ouch! Great galloping Gilgamesh! 50.000 euros! The fine is almost 50.000 euros!!!I am out of the loop. In Ukraine, they say, these insects are killed by the cell phone towers and chemical fertilizers…In Germany, maybe there were gangs of frenetic poachers with fly-swatters, breaking the backbones of bees and wiping out wasps…Who knows…

Nighttime activities. Surely, Ordnung ist Ordung. In any European country, the nighttime drilling and hammering, plastering and plumbing are not desirable after 10 pm. It is not golly gosh that Germany has its own well-written Nachtruhe (night rest) rules. From Monday to Saturday, Nachtruhe regulations cover the period of time from 10 pm to 6 am…Though, if you want to take a bath at 11pm and your bath tub water runs down too loudly, you could be fined and forced to pull out of your wallet from 1.000 to 5.000 euros too…The same relates to a high-sounding horizontal tango…Just unbe-bloody-lievable! And if you decide to relax and to take care of a grass lawn before the house you were settled in on Sunday or public holidays, your fine will skyrocket to 50.000 euros again…Holy Batman on a pogo-stick…

So, in all these cases, what recommendation could be given? Don`t lose your heart. Respect the laws of the country you live in. Be brave and brawny. Train your balls and backbone. Nobody wants to see your sad smirk, and remember that slight cross-cultural differences are not the reason to get disappointed!

Surely, most Ukrainians are sincerely grateful for the huge help of Germany to Ukrainian refugees. The bloody war goes on and where the end of it nobody knows. However, while looking through Ukrainian glasses, some German regulations look fiercely funny and even horribly hilarious.

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